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27 January 2010 @ 06:53 pm
Economy (Jokes) - perfect for the State of the Union Tonight  
The economy is so bad that . . . (with a nod to Henny Youngman)

  • I got a Pre-declined Credit Card in the mail;

  • I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?";

  • CEO's are now playing Miniature Golf;

  • If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds", you call them and ask if they meant you or them;

  • Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM;

  • McDonald's is selling the "1/4 Ouncer";

  • Parents in Beverly Hills fired their Nannies and learned their children's names;

  • A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico;

  • Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting;

  • Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore;

  • The Mafia is laying off Judges;

  • Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

  • Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

    And, finally . . . .

    I was so depressed last night thinking about the Economy, the (lack of) Health-care, too many Wars, the (Lack of) Jobs, my (depleted) Life-savings, Social Security, Retirement Funds, etc., that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was got a Call Center in Pakistan.

    When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck!!

    Current Location: The Unemployment Line
    Current Mood: amusedamused
    Current Music: "Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?" from American Songs from the Depression Era
    donnalee_kissdonnalee_kiss on January 30th, 2010 06:58 am (UTC)
    It's about that bad out there for real. I walk around the mall here and even on weekends it's not crowded.